Eating Disorders From A Therapist’s Perspective
This week is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (NEDA). We asked our friend and therapist, Joanne Gordon , MA to share her own story, what she sees as a therapist when it comes to eating disorders, and her expertise on what we can do as individuals and as a society to overcome this very common and important struggle.
Here’s what she had to say:
What has your journey to believing in your own beauty looked like?
My path in believing in my own beauty has been quite the journey. I remember feeling confident in myself as a child in elementary school and really felt solid in myself, my interests, and my hobbies. That started to change when I went to high school. I remember my body starting to change and with that came increased self-consciousness. I remember being embarrassed with my interests and really felt alienated from my peers.
I have a distinct memory of when I was around 14 where I thought that if I at least was skinny, then I would be more accepted by my peers and feel more confident. I quickly got wrapped up in trying to change my body, desperately seeking acceptance from others and myself.
Unfortunately, nothing ever quite seemed to work, but I kept trying anyway. I remember looking at my peers and celebrities in the media and really looking up to people who, now looking back, were dangerously thin. I feel like things did not really change for me until I graduated from high school and went to University.
“I noticed that when I started to accept who I was as a person; I slowly began to accept my appearance as well”
University really was a place of diversity and the focus was on academics versus what group you hung out with. I found a really good group of friends, enjoyed school and felt a sense of freedom for the first time in my life. Having this experience and aligning with my values really helped change the way that I viewed myself. I noticed that when I started to accept who I was as a person; I slowly began to accept my appearance as well. Now I know that what I look like is not more important than who I am.
Do you feel represented in the media? Why or why not?
When I think of the media, I often think of tall models. As a petite 5’2 woman, I definitely do not feel like my size is represented. I would love to see more diversity in the media regarding body sizes and ethnicities. I would also love to see more consistent diversity in the media, not just as a token, but to normalize and give a platform to all bodies.
How would it make you feel to see yourself and your struggles represented in society?
More representation would be absolutely amazing and feel so inclusive. I would also love to see more transparency of mental health struggles. This could potentially influence others to reach out for support rather than feeling like they have to suffer alone or be ashamed of their struggle.
Please explain to us what you do and what you have learned/seen working at an eating disorder residential facility?
I am a psychotherapist working in an eating disorder residential facility. I provide individual, family, and group therapy and often help support through meal exposures. Residential entails 24-hour care to those who struggle with eating disorders where they are overseen by therapists, dietitians, doctors, and psychiatrists in a cozy home environment.
Are there any common themes you see amongst patients in terms of what originally triggered feeling the need to control their weight?
What I have noticed in my time working in this field is how many individuals are impacted by eating disorders and how much an eating disorder negatively impacts the entire family system. I have also seen how there really is no such thing as a specific “look” to a person who has an eating disorder. I think there is a stereotype of what it looks like to have an eating disorder which does such a disservice and acts as a barrier to those who struggle to reach out for help due to the belief that they are not “good enough” in their eating disorder.
Another major component of this work is that the eating disorder symptoms really function as a coping skill for something much deeper. Although some may find themselves stuck in a destructive cycle trying to find self-acceptance, the eating disorder may also function as a way to numb out uncomfortable feelings, to feel in control of areas of life, or to cope with negative life events.
What do you wish more people knew about eating disorders?
I think it’s important for people to know just how many people struggle with eating disorders and disordered eating to be more mindful of the language we use around food and bodies. Often times we do not realize when we strengthen society’s narrative of how we should look. Whether that be through making a comment about the food choices someone is making, it can be helpful to be mindful of how we speak on these issues because you might not know who is silently struggling. Be mindful and be kind to others
Do you believe the media, advertising industry, and beauty industry play a role in women’s mental health and self-image?
100%. You do not have to look hard to notice a specific beauty ideal that is revered in the media, on TV, in magazines, and on billboards. Companies also utilize a very specific look to sell their products. Advertisements also Photoshop models which further perpetuate this unattainable ideal for most women.
These actions really send the message that women need to look a certain way and anything outside of that ideal is unacceptable or viewed as less beautiful. Also noticing how women are portrayed in movies can contribute negatively to this narrative, such as placing them in the “eye candy” or “sex symbol” role. I believe that there does seem to be a slow shift in having women play more center and empowering roles. However, the media and beauty industry still has a ways to go.
How do you think media can help lower the startling stats on women diagnosed with eating disorders?
Decreasing the use of Photoshop or making a clear note of Photoshop being used to alter the images can be a helpful start. This, in addition to having more inclusivity of all body types, can really begin to change the idea that there is only one type of beauty.
Do you believe there is a way to better implement these discussions into the education system?
Pre-adolescence and adolescence are such a crucial time in identity formation. This mixed with all the developmental and physical changes that occur during this time can pose a barrier to positive self-esteem. It seems that it’s during this time that young girls really become critical of their appearance and question their self-worth. Because it seems like younger and younger girls are being impacted by eating disorders, it could be beneficial to provide education and resources on nutrition philosophies that do not label foods as “good” or “bad,” teach therapeutic strategies and interventions to challenge negative body image thoughts, and build self-esteem. I also think that helping the younger generation be more critical of the media and changing the way they interact with media can potentially help challenge the severity of its influence on the younger generation. This type of prevention model would be so beneficial in sports teams as well.