Q&A with Rachel Platten on How Motherhood Shifted Her Perception of Beauty
Rachel Platten is an American singer, songwriter and author, most well known for her song, "Fight Song.” Rachel writes in her bio, “I feel very deeply and write songs from my raw open wild heart. My music is how I process all of those big emotions. When I’m feeling alone, I write songs to remind myself how connected and supported I am. When I’m feeling powerless I write about my strength and power until I remember who I am again. When I’m feeling jealous and small and angry, I write and allow all those feelings, but by pouring the pain through my voice and piano I often arrive at a bigger truth; that those emotions are just waves, and I am the entire ocean. You are too.”
We asked Rachel about her perception of beauty, especially in the context of motherhood:
How has your perception of beauty changed throughout your life?
Since becoming a mother of a toddler during a pandemic and not having to do red carpets and keep myself up to that standard that I previously held myself to, my perception of beauty has really changed. I’m not perfectly spray tanned, skinny, coifed and toned. I haven’t gotten botox, I look in the mirror sometimes and see a few more lines than I remembered, and I don’t remember my body fitting that way in those pants. Yes, I know that relatively I still have a beautiful body compared to what the media says I should…but from what I’m used to seeing in myself, I don’t look the same as I looked before, so I have to look at myself with more grace lately.
But beauty comes from within. When I looked the most externally beautiful to the outside world, I didn’t feel the most beautiful inside. I felt lonely, scared and jealous. And right now, even though I may not look the way Instagram tells me I should look, I actually feel so at one with myself and at home in my body and comfortable with my skin. I’ve never felt as beautiful as I feel right now. There’s so much less care about what the mirror shows me and way more about what I feel.
Do you remember any specific moment that helped your perspective shift?
I don’t know if there’s a specific time, I just know that it’s been a gradual shift. As I grow into motherhood and grow out of the kind of maiden place I had been in previously… from maiden to mother. I breastfed for a year. My boobs don’t look the same, my skin isn’t as tight, so it’s just been a gradual change over time after having a baby.
What would you tell a younger version of yourself?
I would tell my younger self that she is going to go through some extreme highs and lows and it’s all going to be beautifully on purpose. She’s going to end up in a place of deep knowing and trust and faith. I have deep compassion for how painful it’s going to seem and how alone she’s going to feel, and I wish I could save her from it, but the pain is how she grows. We don’t get to grow without the pain, and I want her to have all these lessons so that she grows to feel the way that I do right now.
What do you want to tell young girls growing up in this digital era?
I just want to scoop them all up in my arms and give them a humongous hug and smash all their mirrors and take away their phones! But if I can’t do that, then I want to tell them that it’s not a cliché, beauty comes from within. When they feel the most beautiful on the outside, it may not match how they feel on the inside and what happens on the inside is so much more important than what anyone else sees. Focus on how you feel and not on how you look. That is happiness.
What has been inspiring you to write music currently? Specifically, your new song, Soldiers?
I always write from deeply personal experiences and what I’m going through. Lately, I’ve been doing the same and digging really deep, writing honestly and vulnerably about everything from motherhood to panic attacks to my growing faith to my relationship with my husband to my feelings on learning to trust myself. I write live journal entries and that’s where my songs come from, along with life around me and what’s going on in the world. We’re living in wild times and it’s hard to not be inspired by what’s going on.